First, I would like to say a huge thank you to Kat! I really feel honored that you would think of me to participate in this series. Okay, so “Love perseveres and is not delightful in evil” and “Love is unfailing and not self-seeking” are the two statements Kat is having me write about. When I told my husband that I was participating in this series, he knew exactly what I would be talking about. I’ve prayed that God speaks through my words and that this speaks to someone.
Well, a little back-story to how my husband, Danny, and I met. I was 14 years old and in youth group. I was friends with Danny’s sister and it actually started with a lie. She thought that we’d make a cute couple and little did we all know it would blossom into an eternal romance. We’ve gone through many obstacles and triumphed them all. But that is not to say that there are still some scars that little by little fade.
We got married on August 13th, 2011. It was 10 days after my 19th birthday. People would ask me soon after if we were still basking in the honeymoon stage. I’d laugh and politely say “yes” but that was a lie. I didn’t feel that innocent love that we once had. We fought or didn’t speak to each other when we were alone. We yelled more than we praised each other and God was definitely not in the center of our relationship. In many ways it was a very unhealthy marriage. We quickly deteriorated and I was in denial. On January 28th 2012, I received a text from Danny telling me that he wasn’t coming home. He was done with our marriage and we were getting a divorce. Yet, I was still in denial. I thought we could fix it. I knew we could… I mean, I was a Christian after all. I wasn’t supposed to get divorced.
Time passed, and after 6 hard months, I was moving forward. I accepted that I was getting a divorce. I gave up on my vows and I decided that him leaving me was right… Wrong. Danny heard a series at a church he was going to about “Restoring your Marriage,” and he decided he needed to right his wrong. He was going to win me back through God. I objected. I didn’t want anything to do with him. I moved forward in my life. But there was a little part in me that knew I wasn’t right. Why? Because Love is unfailing and not self-seeking. God put it in my heart that what I wanted wasn’t right. I can’t make decisions based on how I feel. How I feel is really irrelevant. My life here on earth is supposed to honor God. I wasn’t honoring him by being selfish and only caring about what I wanted. I was given an opportunity to save my marriage. My husband was truly a changed man. I was being stubborn and apparently forgot that I once thought I could never get divorced because God doesn’t condone it. Just like the love that Danny and I share for each other was unfailing, the love God has for us is unfailing. We may feel unworthy or undeserving of God’s love at times. I sure felt like I wasn’t worthy of His love when my marriage fell apart, but there is nothing we can do to make our Heavenly father stop loving us.
When I accepted it, I experienced love like I never had. Love perseveres and is not delightful in evil. The enemy attacked our marriage hard. He almost destroyed something that God molded together. But God’s love perseveres. Not only did he restore our marriage, he made it whole. God’s love is an amazing thing, but it is not delightful in evil. When we choose to even step one foot outside of God’s amazing grace or stop relying on Him, we’re opening up the door to let evil in. With God in the middle of our marriage, he’s created so much wholeness. Soon after God restored our marriage, he gave us the amazing gift, a child. We have an amazing child and I can’t imagine what life would be like if I continued in my selfish thinking and didn’t try to fix our marriage. So to all you princesses out there, rely on God. When times are rough, when times are great, remember that He loves you so much and that His love is unfailing.