Have you seen this movie called “Christian Mingle”? I watched it last night on Netflix with my grandma and surprisingly it wasn’t one of those super cheesy Christian movies. Alright, there was a bit of cheese, but basically it’s about Gwyneth, this single, 30-something year old woman who signed onto Christian Mingle (a dating site for Christian singles) to find a good guy… only she wasn’t exactly a Christian. She ended up going on this adventure into discovering herself and God, but while I was watching it God was talking to me about trusting Him with my relationship and reminding me of “The Leap of Faith”.
I remember being 10 and going to a summer camp with my church. At the camp we had this huge obstacle course. High up in the trees, kids of all ages would test their courage walking on the high ropes and swinging onto various contraptions. One such obstacle was literally titled “The Leap of Faith”. This thing was intense. You would have to climb about 50 feet up, stand on this totem pole with your toes hanging over the edge, and leap 15 feet to a swinging bar suspended in mid-air. Thank God we were attached to a harness, but really, can you imagine what it felt like to take that first step?
Funny enough, relationships are no different. Whether going into one or getting out of one, it’s like a jump into the unknown. I think it’s easier when you know God is in it, because He gives you peace, but even though we know God’s way is the right way, sometimes #TheStruggleIsReal to hear God’s voice above what our heart is saying (feelings + emotions) and what our mind is saying (practical thinking + reasonings). It’s really hard because in the world we are taught to follow what “feels right” but that’s not always the best way.
Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things…“, and that is so true, which is why I think it’s important when we face any decision (but especially with relationships) to bring God into the process, and even people who we trust who hear from God. I remember hearing about this one woman who always told God that her relationship was His and she would only stay in it as long as He said “yes” to it. Princesses, even on her wedding day, she still was willing to walk away if she heard a “no” from the Lord! That story has always inspired me.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Back to Christian Mingle, there was this moment when Gwyneth had to surrender her relationship to God and as I watched it, it was like God was telling me to trust Him with what I put into His hands. He told me this because last week I had to end my relationship with my boyfriend. It was so hard, I can’t even tell you. Just a month ago we were talking about marriage! But things happened, choices were made and a couple weeks ago God gave me the “no”.
I prayed and had others pray with me, and I hoped beyond hope that I had heard wrong, but I knew in my heart, God was speaking loud and clear. Though His perfect will meant me walking away from a man I love, I knew this was God being a good Father and protecting His children from future heartache. I truly believe Jesus can redeem any relationship, but not all relationships are destined to be redeemed. In this case, through so much prayer and an honest talk with my boyfriend, after two years together, it was time for us to go in different directions.
There was a brief moment when I actually considered not breaking up. It can be so tempting to disobey God for a man, especially when you love Him. But as much as it hurt, I chose to obey and I am grateful I did. If nothing else, God will guide this son and daughter closer to Him, even if that means we must separate from one another.
I’ve been thinking of all that God did in us already in these two years and how we got the opportunity to love one another. It was a gift. Honestly, I’m not angry, I’m not bitter, I fully bless the life of my ex-boyfriend (oh wow… that is so weird to say)… I just feel sad. I don’t know if I’ll love again, maybe, but I’m going to continue to put my hope in Christ. As long as He is with me, I know I’ll be okay.
But the worst is the love songs on the radio! Seriously. Makes me want to cry all the time now. Ugh…
Thank God though He has given me such peace before, during, and after this whole process. It’s been refreshing. My heart is really broken, but I feel like each day God is doing something in there, finding missing pieces and healing things and such. He’s a good Papa.
I know this is going to be a new journey but it was just like that summer all those years ago when I stepped off the platform into mid-air. But this time, I’m jumping into my Papa’s arms. Maybe I won’t catch the bar, maybe I will, but what’s great is that no matter what, I am with Him, and if that’s true then I can face whatever comes next.
Princesses, I want to encourage you to listen to God in all things. Listen to His still, small voice. It is so much more powerful than what we think or feel, and His way is always going to lead us into the path of righteousness. Do you know we glorify God when we choose His way above our own? Even if no one sees our decision? Someone recently told me that in our greatest need, God comes through with the greatest grace, and as we live in that grace, He gets the greatest glory. Isn’t that amazing?
One note about obedience though, it should never be driven by fear of being punished, done with complaining and grumbling, or anger towards God. It’s not who you are (Philippians 2:12-14). Let us always obey driven by a fierce love for Him, with a humble heart, and with praise on our lips. Let us be like Jesus and always be ready to say, “Yet not My will, but Yours be done“.
God loves you, I love you, and I pray that you’d fall more in love with Him every day and that He would give you strength, the gift of friendship, moments of rest, and many laughs this week.
Always with love,
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.