It’s been a while since we’ve talked, Princesses! How have you been?
Today’s letter will be about purpose—my first letter to you about this topic—and you can’t imagine how overjoyed I am in finally getting this message to you.
There are other topics I had thought about writing, but I felt strongly that my next post to you needed to be about purpose—well, not only a “post” but a series. However, what started in 2022 as an exciting journey into this new series began to feel like an uphill climb with no end in sight.
Over a year, I composed draft after draft of the first post—typed and hand-written—but could never get my words right. I kept feeling something was missing, and every attempt felt inadequate. Perhaps I was not the right person for the job…
Have you ever experienced the frustration of trying to do what you feel God is guiding you to do, but it not working out the way you thought it would?
I thought that if this were God’s direction, it would go smoothly (and easily), but I was pushing against a brick wall. It was confusing, and I was starting to feel something was wrong with me.
Last summer, discouraged after a year of (what I viewed as) failed attempts, I decided to take a break from writing. Then, something unexpected happened that completely altered the course of my life.
We Only Have Today
I have always felt I had time—next week, next month, a year or two—to complete these dreams in my heart. “I have tomorrow,” I would tell myself. In reality, God says clearly in His word that we should not boast as though tomorrow may come, for we don’t know what may happen on any given day.
"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring." - Proverbs 27:1
On September 24, 2024, I went to the emergency room because of some stomach pain. The pain soon became unbearable, and a few days later, after the doctors found a diagnosis, I was rushed into a major surgery. The surgeon said he was not sure I was going to make it and would have likely died within hours if not for the surgery. It came as a great shock to me and my family. I will tell you more about this another time, but all I will say is that it gave me a new perspective on life.
Everyone told me that it was a miracle I was alive today and that I was so strong and brave. But Princesses, I felt neither strong nor courageous—I was just someone praying God would help me endure what I was going through, pre and post-surgery. It might sound very strange to you, but for a time, I did not feel joy that I made it through the surgery. For some months after my surgery, I dealt with depression as I wondered why God did not take me home.
“Heaven sounds great—no pain, no suffering—so Lord, why am I still here? What is Your purpose? I don’t understand.”
I spent all those months writing drafts about purpose, and here I was, feeling lost and confused as to why I was still alive.
It took some time, but with the support of my friends and family, my church, and God, I somehow found a way to feel grateful for my life again. Yes, my physical body was changed and, in some ways, limited, but I was not dead. I began to see that as long as I had breath in my lungs, God could use my life for His purpose. I need only surrender to His will.
"And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to His purpose." -Romans 8:28
During my recovery, I wondered in what ways God would make something good from this harrowing experience, and I hoped in time, I would see the good. This year—praise God—I have seen good things come from this, but of all the good I have seen thus far, the one thing that I am incredibly grateful for is a question that arose from my heart:
“What do I still need to finish in this life that God has set upon my heart to do while I still have time to do it?”
This question has led me closer to God and down a new and exciting path with Him. God decided to allow me more time here, and I can see now that this is a merciful gift.
Princesses, if you remember nothing else from this letter, remember this: we only have today, not tomorrow. I encourage you to pray that God helps you live this day surrendered to the will of His Holy Spirit—wisely and purposefully, in love and truth—so you may leave this life with no regrets.
The Goodness of God
One of the things I would have left unfinished had I gone home to glory last year was completing this post (or series) about purpose. I was unsure of the timing, and part of me still felt hesitant to begin this project, but I still believed it was God’s will for me to complete it.
A couple of weeks ago, I received a comment on one of my older posts. A fellow Princess (thank you, Marlene) wrote how God brought her to that post and spoke to her through it. As I read her comment, I felt grateful that something I had written years ago had encouraged someone today. It made me start to think about writing again. “Was it time?” I felt a little flutter in my heart at the thought. Suddenly, my enthusiasm turned to a familiar ache in my heart.
Guilt.
Shame.
Regret.
You see, pre-surgery, these familiar feelings would arise at just the thought of TAYP. I know God blessed me with this lovely place to write on the internet, to encourage His other Princesses, to share what He has been teaching me, and yet, I had refrained from writing for two years. And what was my excuse? The fear that I would mess it up? Being overwhelmed by the task? Yes, and so much more, but I was tired of letting these things keep me from writing. I have been more aware than ever that time is short.
Since reading that comment, I have started to pray something along the lines of:
“God, forgive me. I repent if I have let fear and frustration keep me from writing. Help me to overcome whatever is preventing me from following your instruction, Lord. If it’s still your will for me to write about purpose, give me the words. What is Your purpose for me, Lord? Show me, tell me, and I will do it. I surrender, for I believe I cannot on my own, but that I can do all things by Your strength according to Your will.”
God is so good, Princesses. A few nights ago, I was tucked in the covers, ready to sleep, when I started to hear the words in my head for the beginning of this post. I felt it might be the Lord prompting me to write, so, I reached for my laptop and here we are…
"Then he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts." - Zechariah 4:6
Thank you, Lord, for helping me and giving me the words in your timing and not my own… it is truly by Your Spirit alone that we can do the things you’ve called us to do.
Wrapping it Up
Princesses, if I leave you with nothing else, it is to recognize that today is a gift and not something to be taken for granted. Say “Yes” to Jesus, or like the prophet Samuel, “Here I am, Lord.” God has an incredible purpose for you, and I believe He does not want us to leave this earth without fulfilling that purpose.
If you are still wondering what your purpose is, hang tight. I will write to you soon about this very topic (Lord willing and in His timing)! For now, I encourage you to take the first step by praying and asking the Lord:
What is Your purpose for me, Lord? How do you want me to live this day? What do I need to surrender to You?
Remember: “Everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Mathew 7:8). This is a promise from our loving Father, a reassurance that we can come to Him with our questions, and He will respond. However, I’ve learned that sometimes there are better questions we could be asking—a topic for the next post. Stay tuned!
My Prayer For You
Jesus, you are so incredibly good. I have no words to describe my gratitude that You are here with us and that You have chosen to give us life. Thank you for this day. Thank you for every breath we have. We would not be here without You, God. There are so many dreams and plans in our hearts, but I ask that You help us discern our plans from Yours. We want to do Your perfect will–whatever that is, however it looks, even if it’s not easy.
Lord, I ask You give your Princesses courage and strength on this day. I ask that You help them to overcome the fear, anxiety, and stress that is weighing them down in life. Give them wisdom. Show them the way forward. Show them how much You love them, how near You are to them, and how they can give their burdens to You. May Your purpose be accomplished in their life. Let nothing and no one stop them from fulfilling the purpose You have set for them before the beginning of time.
Thank you for Your grace, Lord. It is true that we fall short, but mercifully, You forgive and give us another chance. You help us back onto our feet when we are knocked down. Thank you for being YOU. We love you, Lord. Today, we give ourselves to you, with all our shortcomings, and ask You to purify us and use us for Your purpose. We surrender, for You are worthy of our trust. Let Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Have a blessed week ahead, Princesses. :)
With love,
Katya