This topic has been on my heart for a while. I find that many young ladies believe a guy will fix their life or “complete” them, and once they have a boyfriend or a husband, it will all be okay. Some think if they have someone who loves them, then they will learn who they are and find out what they want to do in life. However, we are going to talk today about some things that will teach you how to be a princess, before you meet your prince.
1. Get to know God
First, above anything else, develop a relationship with your True Prince, Jesus. If He is not your “everything”, somebody else will be. Our hearts were made to receive and give love freely, fully and without limits. There is nothing wrong with loving someone, but if you do not yet know how to love or if you give your heart to someone who does not know how to love you, a broken heart is usually the result. For if a guy is your “everything” and he leaves your life, then you will loose yourself in the process. However, give your heart to Jesus and He will protect it and keep it hidden until He finds a prince worthy of the treasure.
2. Learn some domestic skills
Domestic skills are things like cooking, cleaning, ironing, sewing, etc. We live in a modern age where many of these skills are not taught to girls. (Although, some countries do prioritize learning them more than others.) I was guilty of being one of the girls who always said, “I may not be know how to cook, but I am just going to pray that my future husband can!” Then as I talked with some of my guy friends, they told me that many guys actually appreciate a girl who can cook. I thought about it and realized that even though we live in a time that is high in feminism, women were still originally created to care and nurture. Princesses, guys need that. Learning domestic skills will not only help to take care of your future husband and children, but you will learn how to take care of you too. (By the way, I eventually did learn to cook and I absolutely love it!)
3. Start pursuing your dreams
Princesses, God put special dreams and passions in your heart and you do not have to wait to meet your prince before you can start taking steps to fulfill them. You are never too young to begin. Take a notepad or paper and write down all the dreams you have in your heart and then pick one that you are going to start working on this week. Nothing in your heart is insignificant! God values your dreams and will walk with you and show you how to make each of them come true.
There is nothing that quite compares to traveling to different cities or countries and being among different environments, people, and cultures. It is also great to do with friends, family, your church, groups, etc. If you have never been away from your city or country before, look into doing a mission trip or studying abroad. Those types of trips have many things pre-planned, making it easy for you to just pay and go, without worrying about how to create your own itinerary.
5. Learn how to serve others
Believe me, if you go into a relationship with a what-can-I-get mindset, it will be void of life and love. Make it a priority to get really good at putting your comfort aside for the benefit of another. The most important place to start is with those you love most. Although I must add, serving is not just doing a task for someone. Having a servant’s heart is recognizing that all around you are sons and daughters of the King and honoring them based on how God sees them.
6. Get involved in church
Volunteer, get into a small group or find other ways to get plugged-in. Your church can often be the beginning of learning how to be apart of the body of Christ. I must say though, the “church” is not just the building, but includes all of the believers of Christ. You may have heard the phrase “We are not made to do life alone.” This refers to the fact that we need each other and our community to walk along side us as we walk with God. Learning to trust and be open with people now is also going to set a foundation of vulnerability for your future relationship, where you can live joyfully with nothing hidden.
7. Let the men in your life be your examples
You don’t have to date different guys to figure out how you want to be treated or what you want. Begin to pay attention to how your dad, brothers, and guy friends etc. treat you, and let them be examples of what you do and don’t want in a future husband.
8. Make a list of what you desire in a prince
Remember, this is your prince we are talking about so think about what you desire in his character, his values, his passions, how you want him to behave towards you, etc. God puts desires in us for the prince He has planned for us, so we can recognize him when he comes. There will be times though, where you will feel lonely and that’s right when the enemy will try to distract you with fake princes. When that happens, take that list out and remind yourself of the real prince God has set aside for you, for His beloved princess.
9. Let God heal your heart
Because we live on this earth, we have all gone through things that have affected our hearts in some way. God wants to heal any bruises, cracks, wounds, and brokenness that occurred in us. However, God will not enter unless you let Him. My advise, from experience, is the sooner you let God work on your heart issues, the better. You do not want to bring a lot of brokenness into your future relationships and become frustrated and hurt when your prince cannot fix you. Only God knows how to truly heal your heart, for He is the one who originally created it.
10. Learn to love yourself
God told us this in Matthew 22:39 “And you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The thing is, we really know who we are, better than anyone, and sometimes we are our worst critics. God states that we will love others as we love ourselves, so the measure of grace you give to yourself (whether a little or a lot) is how much you give to another.
But if you choose to love yourself, with every imperfection, you will then experience something called “loving unconditionally”. Now, I am not saying to be vain or conceited, but rather to recognize that you are wonderfully made, a one-of-a-kind gift from God to us, and from that truth, choosing to love yourself like God loves you.
I wrote a post earlier this year about my journey with forgiveness. (Take a look at that post) Unforgiveness is a poison that not only hurts you but also hurts those around you. In Colossians 3:13 it says, “Be slow to anger and quick to forgive.” I am not implying that what you may have experienced was just or right, but holding a grudge or being angry with others will not change the past, it only hardens your heart. Forgiveness is a choice, but healing is a process. If something is coming to mind right now, give it to God. He desires you to walk in complete freedom, and doing this now, will enable you to be in a relationship one day without bringing a bitter heart, but one that is healed and whole.
12. Overcome your fears
There are different types of fear. From a fear of spiders, to a fear of heights, or even a fear of not being enough for your future husband. Yet, all these fears are not from God, for He is love and love conquers all fear. Sometimes we do things, that are hurtful to ourselves and to others, without realizing the root cause of our attitudes or behaviors is actually fear-based. So talk to God and ask Him to show you your fears, then let Him walk you through overcoming them. He desires you to live a life of freedom, rooted in love. Even though this is going to be a process, one day you will live free of all fear, for there is nothing He begins in us that He does not finish well.
13. Read about God’s view on you and relationships
Read books that teach about relationships and your identity as a young woman from a Godly perspective. There are a lot of lies out there on how relationships should be and how you should behave, which is why I think it is really important to discover the truth on how God actually views relationships. Many of these books out there will be focused towards different ages and even different seasons you are in during your life, so one book may be great for one person but not for you. Ask God to show you what would be best for you and your own circumstance.
Here are some of my own recommendations:
I recommend this book for ages 11-16
About: How to guard your heart and mind for your prince
I recommend this book for ages 12-17
About: Showing the beautiful differences in Guys and Girls
I recommend this book for ages 15+
About: The true meaning of how God created women to be
I recommend this book for ages 16-25
About: Helping young women understand guys
I recommend this book for ages 16+
About: Knowing your value as a young woman and creating a love story with Jesus
I recommend this book for ages 18+
About: Knowing how to love well in all types of relationships
14. Separate yourself from unhealthy media
Avoid watching so many romantic films or reading romantic novels, especially if they include a lot of intimate scenes. When you’re single, it’s easy for thoughts to come along like “I wish I had someone like that guy.” or “Why can’t someone to love me like that guy loves her?” Those thoughts might seem innocent, but they are seeds being planted inside you that make you discontent and sometimes desiring more than you should experience before marriage. Be aware of what you are thinking and feeling with certain media, and if your thoughts are not honoring to yourself and to your future prince, then remove the source of those thoughts from your life.
15. Be patient and trust in God’s timing
Know that as you are developing into a princess, your prince is learning to become a prince too. Even when you both meet, you will both always be growing in God and learning more about yourselves and about each other. I know I am writing from a perspective of one prince for one princess, and not all people believe in this. Even if you are divorced or your boyfriend broke up with you and you feel like well, that’s it, he is gone now, I want to encourage you that God has an amazing plan and man for your life! Do not give up hope in that area. God is bigger than our choices, bigger than our breakups, and so much bigger than what we can see. For every one of you princesses, except those explicitly called to be single, your Papa has your prince waiting, but you must trust that you have not “missed” him somehow. For God will not send him too late or too soon, but right on time. So until then, enjoy the journey.