After four months of living abroad, it is good to be home. Although, to be honest, in some ways it doesn’t feel like I am home. The people I used to know quite well have changed, and the rhythm of life I navigated once so naturally has become like a strange tune to my ears.
It’s funny how life continues walking, with no regard to what we are doing or how we feel.
In some ways, I feel more unsteady than when I left – which is quite contrary to what I think people expected. After a mission trip that long, I should be more confident, right? Bold as a lion, filled with fire, declaring “The Kingdom of God is near!” from the rooftops…
Actually, here is me: feeling lost in a place I call home, filled with more questions about my future than when I left, and realizing though I’ve changed in some ways, I still have such a long road ahead of me. I know that sounds totally depressing, but honestly, I’m in a good place.
Mary & Martha
I was reading in Luke 10 the other day and was especially intrigued by the story of Mary and Martha. If you don’t know the story, Jesus was looking for a place to stay in this village, and a woman named Martha opened her home to Him. The sister of Martha was Mary. That night, while Jesus was speaking, Mary sat on the floor at His feet, listening to Him. However, her sister didn’t join her on the floor.
I know every translation is different, but in the NIV, Luke 10:40 says, “Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.” She was trying to make dinner for the son of God and she was doing it all by herself! Frustrated, she asked Jesus if He cared that she was doing all the preparations alone. She then tells Jesus to command Mary to get up from the floor and help her. This is paraphrased, of course, but you get the picture.
I’ve heard this story a million times before, but never realized the NIV uses the word “distracted.” For some reason, this struck a cord in my heart. How many times have I been so occupied with what I was doing, and because I was so sure of what needed to be done, missed out on what Jesus was saying in that moment? How many times have I let distractions come before spending time with God? How many times have I also been like Martha and judged the spiritual walk of others because they were not “doing” enough?
Jesus, forgive me. I’m sure it is as many times as I’ve heard this story.
Princesses, this is why I am okay with feeling utterly out of my wits. If my brokenness leads me to kneel before His feet, then I do not need to be anywhere else. If I find I am lost without Him, I’ve already found where I belong. I need to remember that “home” is not a location or a building, it is Christ.
Mary understood this.
Jesus responds to Martha in Luke 10:41-42 and says, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed – or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
2 Corinthians 12:10
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
In Christ Alone
I once heard when Christ is all you have, you have all you need.
This is beautiful and I am trying to rest in this truth. I so love that Martha had something to show for her service to God, and the Lord does not tell her she is doing wrong, but it is the heart of the matter. He was telling her that despite all that needs to be done and all the worries in her world, only one thing truly should be done and that is to look to Him.
God wants to be the first in our hearts, even before the good things in our lives. Before family, before friends, before our hobbies, before our job, before our boyfriends/husbands, before our desires, before our ministries… having Him as our first love before everything.
Princesses, I’m forever on a journey, as are you, wherever you are. Please remember, you don’t need to be perfect to come to Jesus. It is not a weakness but rather a strength to confess our need of Him. So come to Him, wherever you are, with all your baggage, with all your sin and bad habits, with all your disappointment and frustrations, with your past and present, and everything in between. He is worthy of it all.
Spend time with Him, learn about Him in the Word, speak to Him about what’s going on in your life, look for the gifts He has planted for you in your day, listen for His truth, His perfect love, and His wisdom…
and rest at His feet.
I love you, Princesses. You are so precious to God.
All my love,
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.